wedding registry do's and don'ts with williams-sonoma

sometimes a store is just a store.  they sell goods, you find yourself in want of such goods, you go there, you find, you purchase, you leave.  your needs have been fulfilled.

other times, however, a store is more than a store.  it's a diversion, a tourist attraction, an entity whose value exists beyond its mere ability to provide a means to your ends.  it's a sort of museum for the consumer's senses, a place you find yourself off-handedly suggesting as a date night destination, a place where you accidentally find yourself caressing superfluous tabletop knick knacks after a double margarita saturday lunch.  it's ikea, it's restoration hardware, it's williams-sonoma.  it's the kind of place where i drag steve through the door only to find him deeply engrossed with a hammered-copper-compass-slash-clock-slash-sundial-slash-desk-lamp five minutes later.

case-in-point: it's the sort of place where your wedding registry can get completely out of control if you let yourself go wild.

registering for wedding gifts is both a fun and an insufferable process.  when i was contacted by williams-sonoma to do a blog post about wedding registry do's and don'ts, i immediately remembered all the things i wish someone had told me when it came time to register for our wedding gifts.  now that we've had a chance to put some of our haul to use, i present to you the key advice i wish i'd had a few months ago.

WHAT TO DO

DO...register for china.  i've heard all the excuses for not doing this.  why?  because i made them.  when you're 24 years old living in a 700 SF apartment and you do the math on the cost of a 10 piece china set it seems reasonable to say "forget the china."  after steve and i spent our first thanksgiving stuffing ourselves in style, i can honestly say wedding china is worth it.  it's hard to imagine i won't look back on our first thanksgiving with our incredible turkey, half-cooked apple pie, and hike on padre island every time we bust out the china for fun formal events.  and there's just something truly lavish feeling about setting your tiny driftwood table with crystal and salad plates.  check out my pick from williams-sonoma's china collections here.

DO...consider the return process.  i had a fun time registering at crate and barrel, because when else could i freely admit to wanting a hamsa hand shaped serving tray without having to pay for such a thing?  what i didn't anticipate was ending up with lots and lots of frivolous accents and lacking any sort of king-sized bedding for our mattress.  alas, when we shipped our returns to crate and barrel we neither received a commensurate refund nor did their inventory supply us with any bedding to buy with our store credit.  if you do register for lots of "fun extras," be sure the store they come from also stocks items of functional value should you need to get practical retroactively.  fortunately, williams-sonoma has you covered in the bedding department.

WHAT NOT TO DO

DON'T...expect a standing mixer or a roomba.  somehow it seems like a standing mixer has become a wedding registry staple, but at $300+ these pricey items are probably outside the spending range of most people who give physical gifts.  if you consider items like a roomba must-haves, it's likely you'll be buying them yourself with the help of your gift cards.

DON'T...overdo it with an amazon registry, honeymoon registry, or "alternative options."  those of us who grew up with the internet are very used to finding the perfect specific item to fit our wants and needs.  however, the fact of the matter is that the etiquette of wedding gifts remains a bit more old-fashioned.  while some of your younger guests might get a kick out of getting you exactly what you want like an ipad or an extra excursion on your honeymoon, others would prefer their gifts play a more traditional role in your wedding day and marriage.  try to accommodate your guests' generosity with traditional options as well.

for more tips and resources visit the williams-sonoma wedding registry resource page.
what do you think?  any advice of your own on wedding registries?

loose from the news: interesting reading

again, here are the highlights of what i've read lately

does family history matter to a health nut? 

lisa miller for new york magazine

"But genes can also be “marked” by the various proteins they’re wrapped in or bundled with — scientists talk about these proteins having the ability to turn genes “on” or “off” — in reaction to the environment around them. (The classic example here is this: When one identical twin has schizophrenia, the other twin will have it just 50 percent of the time. Twins may have the exact same DNA, but their environments differ, switching on the disease just half the time.) Now a growing body of research indicates that the “markers” are sometimes hereditary, too. (The questions of when, why, and in what circumstances represent the frontier of epigenetics.)"

who knew i was not the father?

ruth padawer for the new york times

"There is a strong cultural imperative that a man should never abandon his offspring: that a man who impregnates a woman should be responsible for their child, and that a man who acted as a child’s father should continue to nurture her. But what is the cultural standard when those roles are filled by two different men? Judges, legislators and policy makers have floundered trying to reconcile the issues — a tangle of sex, money, science, betrayal, abandonment and the competing interests of the child, the biological parents, the nonbiological father and the state itself. No matter how they decide, the collateral damage is high because fairness for one party inadvertently violates fairness for another."

what you should know about what's happening in iraq right now

andrew katz for time magazine

"One idea proposed by a senior policy analyst at the RAND Corporation is a deal between Damascus and the West to bring peace to vulnerable areas and allow Assad to focus on regaining land: “Assad could help NATO and other willing partners focus time and resources on ISIS, which poses the greatest threat to the Middle East, the United States, and Europe.”

the french are right: tear up public debt - most of it is illegitimate anyway

razmig keucheyan for the guardian

"Tax reductions for the wealthy and interest rates increases are political decisions. What the audit shows is that public deficits do not just grow naturally out of the normal course of social life. They are deliberately inflicted on society by the dominant classes, to legitimise austerity policies that will allow the transfer of value from the working classes to the wealthy ones."

the luxury of waiting for marriage to have kids

olga khazan for the atlantic

"Unlike in Western Europe, where couples cohabit for years and sometimes decades, often with kids, less-educated Americans tend to rotate in and out of cohabiting relationships as the years wear on. They have children with multiple different partners, creating complex webs of child obligations, step-parents, and half-siblings."

the psychology of anthropomorphic robots

eric jaffe for fast company

"The idea that people will trust robots that seem more human runs counter to conventional theories stating just the opposite. To some extent people may still fear human-like machines, and human features might be unnecessary for robots doing strictly physical jobs (say, working on an assembly line). But as robots shift into roles that require more human interaction--as health care assistants or autonomous taxi drivers--a certain degree of social intelligence will become increasingly important."

happy new year (OMG we're getting married in 2014)

i promise i will be back with a better post soon.  historically i have always really liked taking advantage of the new year to reflect, regroup, and reassess and i know this year will be no exception.  in the meantime, here's a bit of fun from one of my stocking stuffers: the fortune telling book for brides.

according to this knower-of-all, here's a little bit of what is in store for steve and i based on details of our proposal and our wedding plans:

if your proposal was on bended knee:  "if your husband to be got down on one knee and proposed, it is likely that you will be parents tot three or more children."

if you got engaged by trees:  "trees are symbols of life and the soul.  becoming engaged under a tree symbolizes that you and your future husband will shelter each other all your lives, and serve as a grounding influence for each other."

if your wedding is between september 1-15:  "you will be blessed with many opportunities throughout your life.  don't hesitate: reach out to them as they are offered to you.  chances you pass up may not come again."

aries / sagittarius:  "this high-octane pairing will be full of laughter and adventure."

orchids as your wedding flower:  "you and your husband will always be passionate about each other, and you will live in great luxury."

well fortune-tellers... there's a look into steve's and my future ;)  see you all in 2014!

word count: 36,443

our awkward DIY engagement photoshoot

our incredible wedding photographer costs a pretty penny, so when it came time to think about engagement photos we definitely had our work cut out for us.  i have taken more selfies of me and steve than i care to admit, so instead of standing awkwardly in front of a stranger with talent, we opted to stand awkwardly in front of a tripod to take our official photos of betrothal.

true story:  DIY actually isn't too bad a way to go if you know how to use a good camera and lens.  sure, it's kind of weird jogging between tripod and steve planted in the "don't move or else you'll be blurry" position, while strangers decide to stop and watch with interest from a standpoint that happens to be, you know, in the background of the photo...  but it's also free, which is neat.

also true story:  DIY engagement photos are a solid way to be really self-conscious about how weird you look taking fancy selfies in public.  still, i recently finished designing our save the date postcard, so now that i have an official picture selected (to keep confidential until we send the postcards out), i figured i'd share the rest of our hilarious, semi-embarrassing photo-shoot.

steve was making fun of me because i kept getting pissy with him for looking stiff.

so when i told him "be whimsical" he opted for the julie andrews sound of music pose.

yup, pretty much.

we have a wedding photographer

and we could not possibly be more excited about her!

choosing wedding vendors is not an easy task, but steve and i decided on alison bank of first comes love wedding photography without much debate.  i think it was when steve said "i like her eye; i like what she sees," when i knew we couldn't bother thinking about anyone else to shoot our big day.  she is insanely talented and we are completely thrilled thinking about all the great memories she is going to record for us next year (plus she's a total sweetheart to boot)! take a look at some of her beautiful work!  it feels good to know our pictures will be in such capable hands!

(photos by alison bank from http://www.firstcomeslovephoto.com/)