[rant] THE HEMLINES ARE TOO DAMN HIGH

well i'm stumped.

the gap cancelled my order on the dress i intended to wear to my bridal shower this weekend and now it's between some emergency laundry with creative accessorizing and a trip to the mall.

in case anyone wants to know: i hate the mall.  a florescent, barren wasteland of middle schoolers, elderly-mall-walkers and strollers create an obstacle course between my favorite stores, which are always in opposite ends of the loud, echoing jungle of aggressive kiosk salespeople, and noxious smells of sbarro pizza.

it's not even like i really left this dress hunt to the last minute.  it's just that after spending weeks surfing various websites looking for a dress that could save me from the mall condemnation into retail hell, i have made an alarming discovery.

did you know that all dresses are maxi dresses now?  it's true.  because i'm pretty sure everything that doesn't qualify as a maxi dress is really just an overlong shirt nowadays.  finding a knee length dress, or pretty much anything that hits below the upper thigh is an exercise in great patience now that spring/summer fashion is here.

now yes, this is partially a complaint rendered by the fact that i have a longer torso and a bubble butt, which means that anything meant to hit above mid-thigh is essentially pornographic on me.  and yes i am aware there do exist SOME (usually overpriced, high necked or long sleeved) dresses that do not look like they are made for toddlers, but i'm beginning to come to the conclusion that fashion designers nowadays think if you want a hemline below the crotch you probably want a full burqua or you're one of those "classy snobs with hundreds of dollars to spend on a single sundress."

but seriously world, when did we think that the definition of summer dress should mean "crotchless panties with matching top sewn on."  am i the only person in the world who likes to sit down without my underwear serving as the only barrier between my body parts and the chair seat?  am i destined to wear leggings year round?  what does a girl have to do to reveal her knees and hide her privates while wearing floral print?

iphonery and more

i promise one of these days i'll post something besides rehashed instagram (though one of the photos above isn't from instagram... if you follow me you might know which one).

so as you can probably tell life lately has been a lot about animals, weather, and highly nutritious food.  i've also fallen head over heels in love with those flip flops in the second row.  if you're still looking for a cute and comfy pair i would more than recommend them... they are available here.

one of the highlights of our week unfortunately had to go unphotographed because my camera is not waterproof.  on wednesday evening a group of our friends all took an inner-tube float down the huron river.  it is probably one of our new favorite things to do, and hopefully i can find some way to document it.  there are lots of little waterfalls to slide down, which leave nobody dry at the bottom.  perhaps my holga could survive in a plastic bag?

and on a less related note (hey i skipped blogging yesterday because i had work deadlines... brevity is not my skill) i'm going to ask my readers for a bit of advice.

long haired ladies:  how do you live?

one of the things many people don't know is that my hair is currently the longest it has ever been in my entire life.  historically i always kept it at more of a layered bob, but in february of 2010 i took the plunge and got a pixie.  it was quite fun and i really liked how it looked, but i perfer a bit of variety when styling my hair and found it very limiting... i haven't cut it since.  

i am planning on continuing to grow it out for probably one more year, but let me tell you it is driving me up the wall... it gets in your mouth when you eat... it gets in both your mouths when you kiss... it gets stuck underneath your own body when you lay down or sit back in a chair... it's maddening.

what do the rest of you long-haired ladies do?  what are the tricks of the trade?  do you swear by products or some perfect top knot for sleepy-time?  do you simply develop unfathomable amounts of patience?

let me know, if you have any tips to save what little is left of my sanity.  hope everyone is looking forward to as lovely a weekend as we are!