"No, you know what's sexy? Turkey chili," - Leslie Knope [parks and recreation]

nothing drives a woman to get creative with food like sub-zero temperatures and a hungry fiance.  having perfected a pretty effortless homemade chili recipe for nights i can't be bother to do more than brown meat and open cans, i figured it was time to mix things up in an equally unchallenging way.

result:  some very tasty, very easy turkey chili-mac

according to steve, both times he heated this up for leftovers at work he was complimented for making the lunch room smell fantastic.  i promise it's tasty.  lets forge ahead, shall we?

you will need:

~1 lb ground turkey

1/2 cup sour cream

1 tbsp minced garlic (about 3 cloves)

3 tbsp cumin (or more to taste)

1 tbsp chili powder (or more to taste)

1 tsp cayanne powder (more or less to taste)

1 bay leaf

1 can great northern white beans (drained)

2 14.5 oz cans diced tomatoes with onions

1 8 oz can tomato sauce

1 6 oz can tomato paste

1/3 lb uncooked farfalle (or similar small pasta)

mexican blend shredded cheese

boil water and cook the pasta, drain and set aside.

brown the turkey and drain the fat then add everything except shredded cheese and cooked pasta.  allow mixture to simmer on medium low for approximately 20 minutes give or take.  

finally:  add pasta before serving and smother with shredded cheese on top.

it may not look pretty, but it tastes pretty.

chicken lo mein recipe

confession:  i'm obsessed with chinese food.

obstacle:  ann arbor has ROUGH chinese delivery selection.

solution:  this recipe.

steve and i are in money-retention mode (omg greece yay).  this means we've been doing a lot of home cooking lately, and i'd hate for any of you to miss out on the latest and greatest dinnertime deliciousness.  i'd long been intimidated by attempts to cook lo mein, but devil may care we went for it and my oh my was it good (and far easier than expected).  note: quantities are approximations as i was mostly just throwing things into a skillet.  try playing around with  the ingredients to taste.

you will need:

1-2 chicken breasts (sliced into strips)

1 lb spaghetti

3/4 cup matchstick sliced carrots

1/4 cup chopped scallions

1/4 cup diced onion

1 cup diced baby bella mushrooms

1 tsp pre-minced garlic (about 3 cloves)

olive oil

sesame oil

1 tbsp rice vinegar

1/2 cup teriyaki sauce

2/3 cup soy sauce

1/4 cup honey

2 tsp ground ginger

2 tbsp brown sugar

cook the spaghetti al dente, drain and set aside.  do not rinse.  while noodles are cooking, dice up the necessary vegetables.

saute the chicken with the garlic and diced onion (not the scallions) in sesame oil.  when chicken is nearly cooked, add the carrots and mushrooms.

once the chicken is cooked and the mushrooms have started to brown (but before they are fully reduced) add the cooked noodles and scallions and reduce heat to medium-low.  pour the soy sauce over the noodles, and if they are stuck together, add a little olive oil to loosen them up from their sticky pasta mass.  add the teriyaki sauce, honey, rice vinegar, ginger, and brown sugar and toss the noodles with the vegetables and chicken until the sauce is mixed.

that's it!  all that's left is stuffing your belly!

crockpot chicken tortilla soup

i partially credit my chicken tortilla soup recipe with the longevity of steve and i's relationship.  ok, not really, but i've been making this recipe for years and every time i do, someone falls in love with it.  the best part?  it's insanely easy.  with this winter cold there's nothing better than a hot pot of soup.  it's spicy and warms you from within and it freezes perfectly for leftovers anytime you want them.

you will need:

3 tbsp butter

4 cups pre-cooked chicken, shredded

3/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped

1 can stewed tomatoes

1 can cilantro lime rotel

3 cups medium salsa

3 cups chicken broth

1 tbsp minced garlic

1 tbsp cumin

1 tsp pre-minced garlic (or ~ 3-4 cloves)

dump it all in a slow cooker and set it on high for about 3-4 hours, or on low for 5-6 hours.  garnish with sour cream and shredded mexican blend cheese.

enjoy!

recipe: insanely easy, over the top incredible, ultra- creamy crockpot cheese fondue

i am a woman who is passionate about dip.

call me crazy, but sometimes life just tastes a little better when you're dunking food into other food.  when i was growing up my family always held a fondue night on new years eve, which was essentially an excuse to feast excessively for many hours on end.  every year someone attempts to whip up the tres gourmet cheese fondue recipe that is full of expensive cheese without letting it burn or curdle.  while i can honestly say it's always phenomenal-tasting, i wondered if i could invent a yummy, easier-to-make, budget friendly version for steve and i to stuff into our bellies.

not trying to brag or nuthin' but the results were pretty darn amazing tasting!!  it is sharp, it is creamy, and it is guaranteed to be a whole lot easier than constantly stirring a double boiler.  it's definitely going to be a go-to party dish of mine, and i can promise, despite the excess of velveeta, you won't be able to stop eating it until you're out of dipping supplies.

note: the following recipe yields a very large quantity of delicious fondue, some measurements are approximations

you will need:

crusty bread for dipping (or crackers, salami, veggies, whatever)

1 (32 oz) brick of velveeta

1 (8 oz) brick of cream cheese

3 slices kraft swiss singles

1 1/2 cups semi-dry white wine (riesling is your best bet)

2 tbsp cumin

2 tbsp onion powder

2 tbsp garlic powder

salt and pepper

optional: water, beef broth, or chicken broth

 cut up the bread, velveeta, and cream cheese into cubes.  resist temptation to carbo-load on bread whilst making fondue.

put cubed velveeta and cream cheese into the crockpot with 3 slices of kraft swiss singles.  set crockpot on high for 1-2 hours to melt the processed cheese products.  once the cheese has melted enough, stir the combination into a blended consistency (a few remaining unmelted lumps are fine).

when cheese is blended add the white wine and stir into a smooth consistency.  stir in cumin, onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper to taste.  switch crockpot to low and let it sit for about another hour.  if the fondue is too thick once ingredients are all blended and melted add broth (i used beef broth, but i imagine chicken works fine as well) or water to thin.

dip your bread (or whatever form of cheese to mouth transportation you've selected) and enjoy!

it's feasting season

hello lovely readers!  the americans among us have a short week otherwise known as feasting initiation night otherwise known as thanksgiving!  essentially we've arrived at the time of year when the influx of food never stops.  even though our double thanksgiving dinners (yes read that: dinnerS) aren't coming til tomorrow, steve's birthday last weekend got us a head start on stretching our bellies.  last friday several of our friends from out of town came over for a surprise party i threw for steve (it was only so surprising, seeing as he requested such a thing).

i left work early to grocery shop, clean, and cook like a crazy lady.  lucky for me our apartment isn't too big so the place was good to go by the time andy and cha showed up to yell surprise.  not to brag or nuthin, but the food was pretty darn good.  in honor of steve's birthday bash and all the eating we've yet to do, i'll share a couple pretty delicious recipes i invented for the party.

black bean, corn, avacado salad (10 servings)

in a large serving bowl combine:

1 can black beans (drained and rinsed)

1 1/2 cup frozen corn kernels (thawed)

1 large diced avacado

1 large diced red bell pepper

1/2 large diced red onion

1/4 cup rice vinegar

1/2 tbsp cumin

salt and pepper to taste

christmas cranberry face-punch (25 servings)

(please drink responsibly... this stuff is delicious and FAR from baby formula...

consider yourself warned)

in a large serving bowl combine:

3 1/5 cups of vodka (1 fifth of a gallon bottle)

1 1/2 cups of triple sec (about 1/2 a bottle)

2 litres sierra mist cranberry splash

3/4 litre simply limeade

4-5 large scoops of lime sherbet

handful of frozen cranberries

hope everyone has a great thanksgiving!

word count: 34,149

easy cheesy taco casserole

apparently i am on a role lately inventing myself easy recipes.  sometimes when i attempt new mixtures i am frustrated by an enormous waste of time, money, and ingredients, but tonight was awesome.  a few weeks ago i tried this taco bake recipe from pinterest, which was good, but i couldn't help feeling it was lacking something.  today, on a whim, i decided to try my hand at a different taco bake recipe and as far as i'm concerned it's good enough for my recipe arsenal for LIFE.

you will need:

12-16 flat tostada shells

16 oz canned refried beans

about 1 lb ground beef

15 oz jar cheez whiz dip

1 1/2 cups shredded mexican blend shredded cheese

1 cup medium salsa

1 packet taco seasoning

2/3 cup water

sour cream for topping

preheat oven to 350 degrees.  line a casserole dish with 6-8 flat tostada shells.  brown ground beef and drain grease.  add 2/3 cup water and packet of taco seasoning and bring to a boil.  switch to low heat and simmer for about 3 minutes until you have a frying pan full of taco meat.  layer ground beef over tostada shells.

bust out the cheez whiz.  attempt to hide your shame.

distribute spoonfuls of cheez whiz evenly on top of ground beef.

layer 6-8 more tostada shells on top of meat / cheez whiz mixture.  spoon refried beans on top of tostadas and spread.

spread salsa over refried beans and smother with shredded mexican blend cheese.  bake at 350 degrees for about a half hour.

slice casserole and top with sour cream.

nom.

mac n' cheesy chicken stuffed shells

today i'm sharing a self taught recipe that i've been debating blogging about for a while.  why?  because it's absolutely totally awsesomely incredible tasting comfort food, but frankly it's kinda nasty looking.  this is not a photogenic recipe, but after one heck of a miserable day yesterday (my car may or may not need a new alternator or battery mere weeks before i'm due to replace the car itself) all i wanted was some mac n' cheese with a dead bird inside.  don't judge.

if you have little ones to feed, i imagine this is a super kid friendly recipe.  last night I just wanted to throw my toys on the floor and have a childish tantrum, and it sure made me feel better.  my measurements are rather approximate, as i'm less a "measure and blend" kind of chef, and more of a"toss it in and see what happens" kind of cook.

you will need:

3-4 tbsp butter

12 oz evaporated milk

10.5 oz condensed cheddar cheese soup

8 oz brick cream cheese

2 cups shredded precooked chicken (i used a rotisserie chicken)

1 1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese divided (i used mild, but whatever strikes your fancy)

12 cooked jumbo pasta shells

melt the butter on medium heat over the stove and add cheese soup.  wisk until soup is less lumpy.  add evaporated milk gradually while wisking until smooth.  add 1/2 cup to 1 cup cheddar cheese gradually and continue to wisk as cheese melts.  allow cheese to melt thoroughly before adding too much.  you should have a thick velveeta-like cheese sauce that is a thick, yet pourable consistency with no lumps or stringiness.

soften cream cheese and combine with the chicken and remaining cheddar.  you could probably mash them together with a utensil, but i went straight for it with my hands.

stuff the shells with your cream cheese chicken cheddar cheese mixture.

arrange stuffed shells in a greased pan and smother them in the cheese sauce.  bake at 350 degrees for about a half hour.

pigfood

so last night i invented a recipe, which realistically probably already exists.  it's too easy and delicious for nobody to have ever thought of it before, but i promise it just sort of came to me.  i snapped a picture of my plate last night, but it doesn't look too pretty because i was already going for seconds at that point.  this dinner was just too tasty not to share!  The portions are somewhat approximate, as i was mostly eyeballing what i was adding.

balsamic maple pork tenderloin
2 lb pork tenderloin
1/3 cup pure maple syrup
1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
3 tbsp red wine vinegar
garlic powder
salt
pepper
crushed red chili pepper

place pork in a cast iron dutch oven (or covered metal pot). combine maple syrup, balsamic vinegar, and red wine vinegar and sprinkle in a bit of garlic powder.  sprinkle salt, pepper, garlic powder, and crushed chillies on top of the pork.  pour syrup and vinegar mixture on top of pork loin.  cover and cook at 375 degrees for about 50 minutes or until pork is fully cooked (time may vary especially if cooking in a metal pot vs cast iron cookware).  i imagine this recipe would work just fine in a slow cooker as well.

oh and if you'd like to make the yummy cheesy potatoes i served with the pork loin, you can find the recipe here.

super yum!  give this a try and let me know how you like it!

Super-Ultra-Mega Treats

For a summer in college I worked at this mom and pop owned bakery / cafe back in the zoo ("kalamazoo" for those of you that haven't caught on to this blog title yet).  I used to throw out the left over donuts at the end of every day and was welcome to take / eat as many as I pleased.  Let me tell you that was NOTHING compared to my current workplace.  Apparently architects are addicted to sugar.  Yesterday, Charley's mom, who is known around the office as "The Cookie MoMster," showed up with 5 catering plates of sweets and I almost went into diabetic shock just looking at everything.  Then I tasted quite literally the greatest cookie I have ever eaten in my life.  Disclaimer: I am not a huge cookie girl.  I am more of a cake/fruity-custardy-crumbly/pie kind of lady.  If you ask me there is nothing better than a piece of chocolate dipped key lime pie on a stick, so if you are a religious chocolate chip cookie person these might not blow your mindhole the way they did mine… but I suspect they still might.  They are THAT good.  Fortunately, Angie (The Cookie MoMster), is the most thoughtful lady alive and always provides the recipes for her baked goods.  So if you are looking to make someone a treat… or gain a lot of weight… make these things.  You will not be disappointed.

Chocolate Toffee Caramel Bars

Prep Time (30 mins) Ready in 3 hours

1 (18.25 oz) package butter recipe yellow cake mix with pudding

1/3 cup oil

2 eggs

1 (12 oz) package (2 cups) semisweet chocolate chips

1 cup white vanilla chips

3 (1.4 oz) chocolate covered toffee candy bars (heath bars), cut into pieces

½ cup butter or margarine

32 vanilla caramels, unwrapped

1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated)

1.)  Heat oven to 350 degrees F.  Grease 13x9” pan.  In large bowl combine cake mix, oil, and eggs; blend well.  Stir in chocolate chips, vanilla chips, and candy bar pieces (mixture will be thick).  Press half of mixture in bottom of greased pan.  Bake at 350 degrees F for 10 minutes.

2.)  Meanwhile in a medium saucepan, combine butter, caramels, and condensed milk.  Cook over medium-low heat until caramels are melted and mixture is smooth, stirring occasionally.

3.)  Remove partially baked crust from oven.  Slowly pour caramel mixture evenly over crust.  Crumble remaining cake mix mixture over caramel.

4.) Return to oven; bake an additional 25 to 30 minutes or until top is set and edges are deep golden brown.  Cool 20 minutes.  Run knife around sides of pan to loosen bars.  Cool 40 minutes.  Refridgerate for 1 hour.  Cut into bars and store in refrigerator.

Servings: 24 bars

Serving Size: 1 bar

Calories: 430

Calories from Fat: 190

Total fat 21 g

Saturated fat 9g

Cholesterol 30mg

Sodium 280mg

Carbohydrate 55g

Fiber 1g

Sugar 46g

Protein 5g

winter is for pizza and being comfycozy

it could be from my crappy oven, but has anyone else noticed the trader joe's pizza dough needing WAY more time to cook than the bag says?  and a tremendous amount of wateriness pooling on top while the pizza cooks?

excuse my frightening hair.

these were our noted failures while we attempted to make homemade pizza last night, but we had lots of fun making it, and it was still tasty (if only half-cooked).  fortunately I bought 2 extra balls of dough from trader joe's (it was my first time there and I might have gone a little overboard).  we will be trying again later this week.

apparently i wear a lot of blue stripes

my more successful creation was finished yesterday as well.  i am now the proud owner of the warmest, softest, coziest scarf ever knitted by me (or possibly anyone in the universe).

i always hate starting the work week, but hopefully a toasty warm neck will help me forget that i'm not in bed. happy monday!